Sunday, March 11, 2012
Responding Sensitively to Others' Emotions
I really found this section of this chapter helpful, because
a lot of it is relevant to my life. I thought it was interesting that when
others communicate negative emotions to us, like if they are sad or upset or
angry with someone, we are not supposed to simply tell them things like, “you’ll
be fine” or “time heals all wounds” (p. 186). I realized that I often respond
this way to friends when they express their emotions to me, and vice versa. I
always thought that it was a way of reassuring them and would help them feel
better. However, the book brought up a good point that responding with those types
of general statements actually tells them that they are not supposed to feel
the way they do, that they will feel better after they dismiss their anger or
negative emotions and simply forget about them. In addition, I learned that it is not helpful
to tell the other person expressing their emotions or concerns with me about my
own past experiences when I encountered a similar situation, for everyone is
different and has a different situation. In the future, I will keep in mind to
paraphrase instead to show my support.
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I like your blog post! I think I've always felt rather awkward in emotional situations. I behaved as you did, because I didn't know what else to say. I've always thought that maybe helping them by telling them about how I handled a smilar situation would be a good idea, but every situation is different, and they may want to just be able to get through their emotions without hearing advice. I think also not saying things like "You should go on a vacation" would be good as well, and saying "I think that taking a vacation will help you think over your situation and better understand yourself" would work as a better way to handle a relationship or situation a friend is reacting to.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely agree with you. After reading this chapter I realized how much it was relevant towards myself. You talk about how you comfort others when they are going through rough times like "you'll be fine" etc etc but it's funny cause I always bluntly tell my friends the truth/reality of the situation but in a constructive way. I guess you kind of "tell people what they wanna hear" which isn't necessarily a bad thing! I'm opposite though, I always tell people (particularly my friends) what they need to hear. Because I feel that in the end it will help them, for their behalf and to get through the problem their dealing with. I don't know if that made sense but yeah that's just me! I agree w/you though on how I can change my intrapersonal communication in the future.
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